In yesterdays post I wrote a short biography. For over a week my son has been suggesting that I write one. Turns out, it was a good suggestion. I mentioned that I was raised in a dictatorial ministry. I also mentioned that the experience(s) shaped me as a person. There is another side, lest someone think that the experience only made me legalistic, let me elaborate. I can best explain, with a list.
Surviving a Dictatorial Ministry (Leaders) Causes:
- A broken heart
Broken Heart-I was hurt.
God is love, what happened?
Anger-How could God allow this to happen?
I had to learn who God is. My perception, I thought that He was always angry at me and took pleasure in punishing me.
Bitternes-All churches/pastors are the same.
It is hard not to think this way.
Skepticism-I (everyone) was always told what to do, and never allowed to ask questions.
Now, I always ask questions. This normally makes me unpopular (still), not a good way to make friends.
Cynism-I have trouble trusting others.
I have never been able to have a healthy, loving relationship with a pastor. But, I long for one.
As you can see, there can be many challenges for people who have been hurt.
By the grace of God, I have overcome the hurt, the anger, the bitterness. I am still a bit of a skeptic, but I continue to hope in Christ and His authority as the one who distributes measures of faith.
This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. John 15.12
Jesus raised the bar, love one another as I have loved you… His love is the standard.
If your only experience is that of a loving church and pastor, you will never know what it is like to be a part of a dictatorial ministry. Please don’t judge others for their skepticism, questions, and fears… love them.